10s of thousand of negative thoughts a day
We need to rewire our brains.
I work with individuals to help them be better humans inside and out of the workplace. Stress can overtake our minds and ruin our bodies. I hope to help people be more proactive instead of reactive, ensuring a more prosperous life for themselves and those around them. Outside of control, control of situations or people or work or experiences, which causes anxiety… folks I work with sometimes are stuck in a negative thought loop that distorts their perception of reality.
What I mean is, when you tell yourself something that isn’t true so many times that you start to believe it. For example, Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh would continuously say, “Thanks for noticing me.” When the truth was, everyone noticed him… he was just so depressed that his negative thoughts blocked him from seeing reality. This is also known as “cognitive distortion”.
I often talk with clients about shifting our negative self-talk to positive because it is one of the most effective ways to start to rewire our brains. There is a story I often refer to a time when Belle, my daughter, was called “stupid” by her stepsister. This was several years ago now, but every so often Belle will bring up this incident even to this day. Her memory of how her sister talked to her makes my heartache. It is so sad to me that she has this blemish on her self-esteem. I then pivot to thinking… I call myself “stupid” at times, or I call myself an “idiot”. If my heart aches that Belle was called “stupid,” then why on earth would I talk to myself that way. If you tell yourself a story enough times, you will start to believe it.
How would you prefer to talk to your kids, partners, peers? How do you want to interact with family, friends, and people you care about? Most people want to be kind and compassionate to those that are closest to them. Females particularly tend to be more nurturing and maternal. Perhaps when we make a mistake, don’t feel the prettiest, or are constantly beating ourselves up… we should pause and give ourselves some sort of mental high-five and celebrate small wins.
The more often we cheer ourselves on, the more often a habit could stick. We harp often on self-care, right? Maybe you are working to get more physical activity in or clean up your diet. Detail out small goals to reach your big goal, for example, get up earlier and change to go to the gym or go for a walk. That is a win. Walk for 5 minutes and celebrate that! Choose a vegetable instead of French fries. Woohoo! Don’t set lofty goals that may be too hard to meet. Don’t consider yourself a failure if you want to go for a run and don’t go for 26 miles. Celebrate what you can do, not what you wish you did.
Negative thoughts overtake your mind. Negativity surrounds us. In social media, the news, everywhere we see chaos. We have to work hard to see, think, hear positivity. We can do this. Small goals lead to big gains. Actively change your thinking, work at it, write it down, marker up a post-it, stick it on your mirror. Love yourself. Be yourself. Celebrate yourself.
Originally published at CRYSTAL FARLEY on August 3, 2020.