What if you couldn’t get into trouble?
I just had a profound realization that a fear of getting into trouble has been unconsciously holding me back. I didn’t realize that I hesitate unconsciously because I’m afraid I’ll get into “trouble”. Trouble for me is doing wrong, getting yelled at, or scorned. The image above looks like how I feel when I'm in trouble.
I was hemming and hawing over something that needed to be done but wasn’t getting done. I asked my boss, Mark Silver, at Heart of Business, reminded me I’m totally empowered. I realized I didn’t feel like I could make the decision because I was worried I’d get into trouble. He affirmed me saying - you're totally empowered and trouble isn’t a thing here.
What – trouble isn’t a thing?
I can’t get into trouble?
Brain popped with new awareness overload.
How often do you stop and hold yourself back because you might get into trouble?
Or fill in your blank - get scorned, ignored, yelled at …
I’m a grown woman and when was that last time I actually go into trouble? I’m not sure I can recall any real trouble.
Sure, I’ve made mistakes. Some I’ve felt very badly about. But yelled at, scorned or in trouble? No, not in a very long time - since my turbulent teen years.
As I let all of this sink in, I wondered, holy cow, how often did I NOT do something because I was unconsciously worried I’d get into trouble. What was the story I was telling myself about this? It’s such a false story and not true!
I realized that I was unconsciously still thinking of myself as a trouble maker and always getting into trouble.
As a precocious 4th not planned child, I was always in trouble, in the way, or being told to be quiet. I can still hear people saying – “Here comes trouble, complete with a heavy sigh and frown, or What did you DO now?, or I can’t hang out with you because of your trouble., or Go to the principal’s office.. again….even when I didn’t do anything just because I had a reputation. Ouch.
I took those labels and wore them proudly rebelling and causing mayhem. I speak of those years as my “rebel without a clue” period. That period was fraught with a girl trying to fit in and figure out who she was and angry at the world for not understanding her.
I'm no longer a rebel without a clue or causing mayhem. I am a unique quirky person who questions- absolutely. Fiercely independent and speaks the truth -YES!. But, trouble – nope. I’m NOT a trouble maker. I’m a peaceful person.
There’s so much freedom in losing this unconscious bias I hid behind. I don't have to be tough and rough. I can be authentically me. I feel lighter and brighter. The weight of my backpack of hurtful words we say to ourselves has been emptied of yet another limiting belief.
What if there is no trouble?
Holy cow, the world opens up. Possibilities show up, they are endless.
Can you feel the weight lifted and freedom? If you can see rainbows and that ‘ah-haa’ illumination music playing - that’s how it felt to me.
So, my friends, What if YOU couldn’t get into trouble? What would you do?
What if there was no trouble in your life? What does that look like?
I’d love to hear your possibilities and freedom you can find with no trouble?
wiseHer expert Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, ACC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Originally published at Bold Fulfilled Life Coaching Blog on 18 July 2020.
*Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay